Help Our Turtle Friends!!!
NO NO NO NO
SO VERY WRONG
LISTEN ALL MY FELLOW FRIENDS: I’VE VOLUNTEERED AT THE NEW ENGLAND WILDLIFE CENTER, A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD TRAVEL TO INTERN AT, FOR MORE THAN YEAR AND THIS IS SO VERY WRONG
IN CASE YA’LL DIDN’T KNOW, TURTLE ARE CONNECTED TO THEIR SHELLS, AND PICKING THEM UP LIKE IS SHOWN IN THE PICTURE CAN SEVERELY DAMAGE THEIR SPINE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU JERK THEM AROUND
SO LET ME TELL YOU A THING
IF YOU SEE A TURTLE IN THE ROAD, STOP YOUR CAR FAR ENOUGH AWAY THAT THE TURTLE CAN STILL BE SEEN THROUGH YOUR WINDSHIELD.
IF YOU’RE ON A NON-BUSY ROAD AND/OR THE TURTLE ISN’T FLIPPED ON IT’S SHELL (WHICH BY THE WAY WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE DON’T ACTUALLY FALL ON THEIR BACKS LIKE THAT PRETTY MUCH EVER ESPECIALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT PICTURE) GET A STICK OR JUST USE YOUR FOOT TO GENTLY NUDGE THE TURTLE’S REAR IN THE DIRECTION IT’S GOING IN. THOSE FUCKERS ARE FAST WHEN THEY WANT TO BE.
IF PICKING UP THE TURTLE IS NECESSARY, APPROACH IT FROM THE SIDE, MAKE SURE IT SEES YOU, THEN GO AROUND THE BACK. ALL TURTLES HAVE JAWS LIKE THE VIRGIN ASSHOLE OF SATAN, EVEN IF IT’S NOT A SNAPPER, AND YOU DO NOT WANT THOSE CLAMPERS ON YOUR HAND OR ARM. BELIEVE ME.
PICK THAT SHELLED CUTENESS UP LIKE A HAMBURGER, ONE HAND ON EACH SIDE OF THE SHELL HALFWAY BETWEEN FRONT AND BACK LEGS, FINGERS ON THE BOTTOM SHELL, THUMBS ON THE TOP SHELL. KEEP THE TURTLE AS HORIZONTAL AS YOU CAN AS YOU CARRY IT TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BRING THE TURTLE TO A “SAFE HABITAT.” DISPLACING ANY SPECIES OF WILDLIFE LOWERS THEIR CHANCE OF SURVIVAL DUE TO NOT KNOWING WHERE THE FUCK THEY ARE. MAKE SURE THE TURTLE IS SOMEWHERE AROUND TEN PACES AWAY FROM ANY KIND OF HUMAN CONTRAPTION, INCLUDING HOUSES AND SIDEWALKS, AND THEN LEAVE HIM TO HIS DEVICES. THEY’RE NOT STUPID, THEY’RE NOT GONNA TURN AROUND AND WALK RIGHT BACK WHERE THEY CAME FROM.
THINGS TO REMEMBER:
-DON’T PICK UP BY THE TAIL. IT CAN BREAK THE SPINE.
-DON’T MOVE TO ANOTHER HABITAT.
-DON’T TAKE ‘EM HOME. THAT’S ACTUALLY ILLEGAL IN MOST STATES.
-DON’T PUT YOUR HANDS ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH.
-BE WARY OF THEIR FEET, THEIR CLAWS CAN BE SHARP.
-WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER, REPTILES CAN CARRY SALMONELLA AND WHILE IT’S PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTRACT IT UNLESS YOU SUCK ON THEIR CLOACA IT’S BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.
-DON’T MOVE THE TURTLE TO THE SIDE OF THE ROAD THEY JUST CAME FROM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT. THEY WANT TO GO THE WAY THEY WERE GOING, GENIUS.
-IF THE TURTLE IS ON A HIGHWAY, IT’S PROBABLY BEST TO PICK THEM UP- AS DESCRIBED ABOVE- AND PUT THEM IN A BOX FOR TRANSPORT SINCE THEY’RE SQUIRMY LITTLE BITCHES.
-SNAPPERS ARE JUST AS IMPORTANT AS OTHER TURTLES, DON’T IGNORE THEM BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE DEMON CHILD OF A T-REX AND BOX TURTLE. NO MATTER HOW BUSY THE ROAD IS, THOUGH, THE RULE OF THUMB IS DON’T PICK THEM UP IF THEY’RE BIGGER THAN YOUR HEAD. STOP TRAFFIC AND NUDGE THEM ALONG. PEOPLE MAY BE PISSED AT YOU, BUT AT LEAST YOU’LL KEEP YOUR FINGERS.
WIELD YOUR NEW FOUND KNOWLEDGE FREQUENTLY, MY FELLOW TURTLE SAVIORS.
it is important that you read this shining example of wildlife safety literature all the way through to fully appreciate its radiance and learn the ways of turtle protection.
cool! I had noticed their comment was pretty tolerable. =:)
sadly, a person making minimum wage in america would be baffled by seeing a bill larger than a $5 or $1. a good cartoon.
written by someone that’s never been to or worked in retail
"you deserve poverty for giving me poor customer service"
I hope the person who made that cartoon dies a painful death.
and furthermore I’ll work circles around you, dickhead.
oh ps. what kind of name is Rob Smith Jr?????
"*this is a true story"
somehow i highly doubt it.
As someone who has done a lot in retail; this is literally impossible. The damn cash register tells you what change to give. The artist definitely pulled this one out of their ass
Ass, brain, whats the difference?
The best part that undermines the cartoonist’s intent is that, if she’s demanding $11/hour and the meal is $10.60, it means right now she can’t even afford to eat where she works with an hour’s pay.
And even if this was a true story (which is like really clearly isn’t)
IT’S FULLY MORE LIKELY that there was some sort of counterfeit 20$ bill problem in the area
Because I see that ALL THE TIME, they have to call a manager because they know they aren’t supposed to just take the 20s in case their fake but maybe they don’t have the easy way to check the bill on them or something.
Like if your assumption is that someone sitting in front of a big computer/calculator machine all day doesn’t know how to give you change you’re just shitty tbh
you can tell robsmithjr.com what you think of his shit comic
*goes to robsmithjr.com*
*sees blurb to see Rob Smith Jr.’s cartoons on Glenn Beck*
Ok. I have three degrees, and while I CAN make change without the register helping me, when my brain is thinking of a hundred other things, I’m slow at it. hell, even having the register do it makes my brain stumble. I’m good at other stuff though that this jackass probably isn’t. And oh let’s just ignore that there may be an education gap and privilege-to-get an education gap and that is why someone is working in fast food. But you aren’t worth a living wage, I guess, if you grew up poor. That’s how we have generations of poverty, and that’s what the conservatives want. keep those poor classes poor with no hope of rising above, because they dangle one token person who “made it” in front of millions of people. No, that dude is the outlier. He is not proof that “everyone” can do it.
There’s so many things wrong with that cartoon. Most importantly, in the absence of some other source of funding for them, you pretty much have to pay people enough money that they can have food, shelter, and medical care, and have some left over, period. But the thing about making change is pretty bad in a number of ways. A couple of data points:
- One of my friends got trained to do math using this really stupid system which, it turns out, induced in some smallish number of students what appears to be permanent discalculia. So he would have a hell of a time doing stuff like this, I suspect. He’s plenty smart, he works hard, but that doesn’t mean he can do math in his head.
- Cashiers don’t usually have to actually think, just punch in numbers.
- $10.60 for a fast food burger? Uh, not yet, anyway.
- Come to think of it, I’m one of those stereotypical math-oriented autistics. Once I was bored on a road trip and started from my vague recollection that a meter was about 39.4 inches, and worked out the miles:km conversion. I came up with 1.61. Google says 1.60934. And… I can’t always do stuff like this in my head. So this isn’t about competence or education or anything.
- I like how the white guy is being smug and insulting about the dark-skinned woman. Oh, wait. That’s not “like”, that’s “hold the writer in contempt”.
Whole thing is just sorta horrible and mean-spirited. This was not written by a person who wants to solve problems, this was written by someone who is smug and dismissive about things without understanding them. (Which is not surprising, because habitually dismissing things results in not understanding them.)
thats the worst shit only because my mom basically always thought I was being a little bitch when I’d complain that it still hurts your eyes
WAIT I THOUGHT IT MEANT THAT IF YOU GOT IT IN YOUR EYES IT WOULDN’T BURN (no crying)
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT IT’S SAYING NO RIPPING?
*FLIPS TABLES* THIS IS WHY THE ENGLISH WRITTEN LANGUAGE IS CONFUSING AS FUCK I AM SO SORRY NON-NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKERS.
Why doesn’t it say fucking anti tangle?!
I JUST MADE BOTH MY PARENTS READ THIS I AM SO ANGRY
THEY ARE ANGRY
WE JUST HAD AN ARGUMENT ABOUT ‘TIER’ ‘TEAR’ AND ‘TEAR’
THEY THOUGHT IT MEANT NO CRYING TOO
I AM SO ANGRY
YOU’RE KIDDING ME
DO A LITTLE RESEARCH PEONS IT DOES MEAN “TEAR” FREE AS IN NO CRYING
WHICH YOU PROBABLY ALL KNEW BECAUSE THAT’S HOW IT WAS ADVERTISED IN THE COMMERCIALS
TUMBLR IS LYING TO YOU.
AND SO IS L’OREAL BECAUSE FUCK THIS STUFF
» Idris Elba // Lucy Liu // Hrithik Roshan // Angel Coulby
While I do love that whoever made this did a good job matching actors to characters, the one issue I have is that Hogwarts is in England and what founded several centuries ago. I’m not saying that there wouldn’t have been blacks or asians in England at the time, but it’s still a historical inaccuracy to depict them as anything other than white Englishmen, since the culture of England at the time wouldn’t have had room for blacks and asians as anything other than slaves or traders.
Please don’t take this as me being racist, this is just me with a debilitating and incurable need for historical accuracy.
So let’s see. The Sorting claims it’s origins about a thousand or so years ago in it’s song, which implies the 1000s. JK Rowling described them as “medieval," which is about 500 to 1500, again agreeing with our 1000 date. So let’s work with that. We’ve got a pretty decent timeline to work with here.
There have been black people in Scotland since “classical times,” and black moors present in James IV’s royal court in the 1500s, plus there’s St. Deiniol in Wales in the 500s, implying black people were also in the religious court instead of all just slaves and servants. Therefore, could a strong and fearless future-Gryffindor have ancestry native to the Isles? Hmmm.
Hannibal of Carthage was definitely not white (at least not in the modern sense). As a matter of fact, many Mediterranean descended people are mixed with Central Asians, South Asians, and North Africans so… But anyway, in 1555, black men were learning to be interpreters in London to help with trading in the Ghanian region. Here’s a coat of arms with black people on it dated 1616. Also, literally how do you not know about Dido Elizabeth Belle, an aristocratic lady of Scotland from the 1700s???
The Romani migrated out what is now modern day India and Pakistan in about the 1000s, so add in that they’re wizards who can fly and all that jazz, they could’ve easily gotten there within a year or two and settled in Scotland once they learned white people weren’t treating them very kindly. There you go, that’s how a South Asian Slytherin made it to Scotland just in time to found Hogwarts.
Here’s desi people of color from the Indian subcontinent, called Lascars, who had been sailing in Europe from as early as the 1400s, possibly earlier, still fitting that there could’ve been wizards in the British Isles about a hundred or so years earlier. Art from the 1600s showing brown men in turbans. Here’s an Indian man who in the 1700s ran a successful restaurant in England and taught white people to shampoo their hair lol.
Japanese emissaries came to Europe as early as 1584 and observed there were already Chinese and Japanese slaves among the overwhelmingly black slaves, something blamed on Christianity, which was part of the reason why Japan vehemently became isolated from that point.
Also about East Asia, Mongolian Genghis Khan made it to about Poland-ish in the 1200s, so it’s not a far bet to say the Chinese (who were also conquered by Khan on his way to Europe) could’ve found their way to Scotland around that time or a few hundred years earlier. Along with a smart cookie who would go on to be the founder of Ravenclaw.
Native Americans, of course, have been present in Europe for a while. In the 1500s, Manteo and Wanchese arrived in London. There’s evidence the Vikings and Indigenous Americans were friendly long before when Columbus blah blah, and there’s even evidence of Native Americans in Holland that’s like 2000 years old. Could a kind and loyal future Hufflepuff be one of those mixed race indigenous American-Africans?
ALSO considering the fact that Binns (the history professor at Hogwarts) specifically stated that witches and wizards were being persecuted and Hogwarts was built out of sight of Muggle eyes, it’s completely possible that POC came to Scotland and built the castle happily for other magical humans to have a safe place. Since HP universe is a fantasy anyway, read these article while you’re at it.
So yeah, I understand your implication that you don’t want to be racist or anything like that (bc being called racist is ofc so much worse than actually being ignorant), but POC were not just traders and slaves in the British Isles, they were a fuckton of other things your history books aren’t telling you (or trying to intentionally steer you away from). So me having an all-brown cast for a location in a dominantly-white place I’m sure is irking the fuck out of you, and that makes me so glad to see you confronted with that “incurable” need for historical accuracy you have.
And check out this rad blog: Racebending Harry Potter.
how come the only time people mention the enslavement of black people in Europe is when they want to deny our presence in fantasy fiction?
Most people’s definition of blindness (“Uh … their eyes don’t work, right?”) misses a huge chunk of what going through life without vision is really like.
#5. People Are Constantly Accusing You of Faking
Like cheap liquor, blindness comes in a huge variety of flavors and varieties — and while all those flavors are vaguely reminiscent of butt, they do all have their unique takes on it. “Legally blind,” for example, doesn’t mean your eyes don’t work, it just means they’re one-tenth as powerful as they should be, which effectively means that you can’t see below the big E on an eye-doctor’s chart. So even a lot of legally blind people can read books, provided they use a computer screen or anything with a massive enough font.
You can, in fact, gather 50 blind people and not have any two of them see the same way.
Calling something a blind spot isn’t a disparaging reference to blindness. It’s referring to something about how sighted people’s vision works.
There are points in a sighted person’s field of vision where they’re not actually seeing things, but they think they are because their brain is filling in details. There are situations in which it is very important to be aware of this and intentionally look places where your brain is tricking you into thinking you’re already looking.
When sighted people learn to drive, they have to learn how to intentionally check blind spots in order avoid crashes. A sighted person’s brain will tell them that they’re already seeing things in those blind spots, and so they have to learn to intentionally look.
Calling something a blind spot metaphorically is a reference to this fact about how sighted people’s vision works. It means something like “you think you’re already seeing that, but you’re not. You need to learn how to look at it directly, or you’re going to hurt people.”
This is a pretty good argument, but conflates two very different things, and as a result, the actual fact claim about driving is confused at best. The blind spot inherent to the eye is a thing which all vertebrates have, and is the thing where your brain fills in the details for you. The blind spot relevant to driving is a completely different kind of thing. Your brain doesn’t trick you into thinking you’re already looking, your brain isn’t filling in the details. You just can’t see that. And the entire point of a “blind spot” for a vehicle is that you cannot look there. It is physically impossible to see that location. You can’t learn to see it, you can’t train yourself to see it, because there is no path for light to follow to reach you from there.
These are two different things. They are not the same thing. They do not have the same traits, even though they have some similarities.
And when people refer to something as a “blind spot”, they may be referring to either of them. But for one of them, they’ll be saying “you need to look directly at this thing or you’ll not be seeing it”. (And you may well not think you’re already seeing that.) For the other, they mean “you genuinely can’t see this from here, you need to move somewhere else to see it.” Those are different claims.
Also, strictly speaking, the existence of cephalopods means that the former case is a disability analogy, it’s just that it’s a disability currently universal to all known vertebrates.
- Pokemon Red
- Pokemon Blue
- Pokemon Gold
- Pokemon Silver
- Pokemon Bronze
- Pokemon Red Fire
- Pokemon Grass Green
- Pokemon Ruby Tuesday
- Pokemon Safe Fire
- Pokemon A B C
- Pokemon X Y Z
- Pokemon Now I know my A B C’s
- Pokemon Dungeon Dice Monsters
- Pokemon The Last Airbender
- Pokemon of the Galaxy
- Pokemon Horror Story: Asylum
- Pokemon Horror Story: Coven
- Pokemon Horror Story: ….Coven 2
- Pokemon Ping Pong
- Pokemon Party
- Pokemon Party 8
- PokeKart: Double Dash
- Pokemon Crunch Wrap Supreme
- Pokemon Cross Dress
- Pokemon Fingerblast
- Pokemon Facebook Edition
- Pokemon Who?
- Castlevania 2: Simon’s Quest
LEAFGREEN not Grass Green
yes thank you. THAT’S the one game i needed to be corrected on.
I’m grossed out by the kind of stuff tumblr does to its users over an extended period of time
Grammar and punctuation is completely lost on some people, to the point where their posts are unreadable and irritating
And tumblr fosters and feeds this incredible narcissism and need to impress people- people who don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things.
"but women have sex organs on their chests! I don’t walk around with my pants off!"
I think what you mean to say is “women have secondary sex characteristics on their chests”, not sex organs
in which case let me remind you that your facial hair and enlarged adam’s apple are also secondary sex characteristics
if secondary sex characteristics bother you and you feel they should be covered up in public, please feel free to shove your entire head in a bag at any time